RAVEN CATCH-ALL

[robopriest]

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2/2

[laid]

[After a minute of silence, he turns off the heat, fetching two plates.]

Ya want some rice too?
[As he uncovers a pot of it that's been simmering. Everything is fine! Everything is fine.]

[robopriest]

...

[The man's gone silent. Hansa peers at him, expecting him to say something else, but he doesn't until he finishes and asks him for rice. The priest frowns.]

...We're different people, you know. Your Blastia heart, which you have made in clear terms that you hate, and this body that has been a blessing given to me to wield, are very different. I don't think its easy to just compare one with the other just because we both had our bodies changed.

[A beat. He raises his shoulders up and down in a shrug.]

Anyways, yeah. Sure. I'd like rice.

[laid]

Why do you think I decided not to say anything?
[Exactly because he UNDERSTANDS that they're different and you can't really compare them, but that doesn't stop the idea of what Hansa did easy to settle in his stomach. He was ready to just move on and not talk about it anymore!! But fine!!! You wanna keep going??]

But if you're saying that hoping to get some sort of... endorsement from me, you're not gonna get it, I think it's a stupid thing to have done regardless.
[As he spoons some rice onto both plates before adding the stir fried vegetables.]

[robopriest]

Huh?

[He actually barks out a laugh at "endorsement".]

Raven! Raven, come on! Do you really think I need endorsement? I didn't say that just for you to clap and tell me how cool I am. Sure, I like my body for what it is, but its my own happiness. I don't need approval.

[Silly Raven. Putting your self worth on others is for kids not what he'll ever do, at all.]

[laid]

Then why keep it a big secret at trial?

[It makes sense for him. He doesn't want people to know about his terrible fake heart or the fact that he died. He stabs a peapod with a fork and stuffs it in his mouth.]

If yer so proud of it, why hide it?

[robopriest]

[His smile twists to the side, amused.]

Come now. Don't you think its strange for a holy man to have a body like this? In fact, you haven't asked the most crucial question, here.

[laid]

I don't know what is and ain't normal fer yer religion. What question am I supposed ta have asked?

[Who the fuck is Jesus? Raven sure doesn't know.]

[robopriest]

Why I have this body. I mean, I've only given you the vaguest of answers, right?

[Because "its for the Church" literally says nothing.]

[laid]

You said it had something to do with doing yer job better.

[Actually;]
Which is what, exactly?

[robopriest]

[His smile curls up, like a Cheshire Cat.]

Now that is something I can't just tell anyone.

[laid]

[SIGHS]

So what's the point of me askin' then? I've got good reason ta not pry into people's personal affairs if I'm not on the job.

[Eating more stir fry. It's never made his life difficult like this.]

[robopriest]

Because its a refreshing question that I haven't heard too many times before even though it really should be asked more, and because if you think about it maybe you can already guess at the answer. Something like that?

[no hansa is just being an asshole and he knows it]

[Anyways he's going to go for that second bowl of stir fry, finally, murmuring his thanks to the Lord before he digs in.]

Anyways, we're only just starting to know each other. [He swallows down some of the stir fry nodding in approval.] Mm. Thanks for the meal, by the way. You're a good cook.

[laid]

Well, in my experience, if someone's coy about what they do fer work their job involves one of three things; killing, spying, or sex.
[Given what he's gotten off Hansa so far he's leaning more towards the first two. But how often does Raven meet people in those professions to make this judgement, huh.

But yes, good. Food is important.]

Yer welcome, I suppose.
[It came with a bunch of stress he did not ask for!]

[robopriest]

Who knows? Maybe I'm just a robotic cabaret singer by night.

[He quips, smirking in the middle of his meal.]

What else do you like to cook?

[laid]

I don't even wanna think about that.

[He's not into dudes!!! He can't stress this enough!!!!]

I can cook just about anything, but it's not really something I like doing.
[Which is wild because this is legitimately very good stir fry.]

[robopriest]

[A laugh.]

Really? Could've fooled me. This isn't exactly a half-hearted dish.

[laid]

That's cause ladies love a guy who can cook!

[This man is an idiot.]

[robopriest]

[Dryly:]

And yet you open your mouth and they run the other way. Makes you wonder.

[laid]

I'll have you know old Raven has plenty of fans! It's just that we don't have nearly enough mature ladies here.

[Yeah, that's the problem.]

[robopriest]

[Looks around.]

Woooow. So many fans here! You sure are Mr. Popular.

[laid]

I'd like to see you do better! A good chunk of the girls here are like, half my age. Yours too.

[Take that, fellow 30s year old.]

[robopriest]

[He laughs.]

You're telling a holy man to leer at the ladies like you do? For shame. I have a little something called dignity, you know.

[laid]

I don't leer. But if Dorothy's gonna just bare herself of her own free will surely it'd be rude ta look a gift horse in the mouth.

[He doesn't know your weird jesus rules, also.]

[robopriest]

The lady can do what she wants. It doesn't mean you need to ogle like they're pieces of meat on a spitroast.

[FOR SHAME, RAVEN!!!]

[laid]

Is this part of yer religion? Being all sanctimonious and smug at people?

[Well-]