RAVEN CATCH-ALL

[robopriest]

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week 0 post execution

[robopriest]

[A shady old man walks into a kitchen where there's a shady old man....which would be the start of a joke, but its what's happening. Hansa lifts his eyebrows when he sees the other, giving him a short wave.]

Hey there. Making something?

[laid]

[He's chopping vegetables. He looks a little caught out, but then sighs.]

Yeah, stir fry. You want some?
[Just gonna act like there isn't a weird vibe around the terrible secret.]

[robopriest]

...Sure. Why not.

[Yeah he's coming over to see what you're cooking.]

Didn't take you for a cook, honestly.

[laid]

I'm not, really. But any independent adult oughta learn how ta cook a thing or two.

[Don't got around telling people!!]

[robopriest]

Good for you, old man.

[Says Hansa, a year younger.]

Now, do you want to talk about your little jewel now, or after you've made this? I hardly want to get in the way of the making of a fine meal.

[laid]

[He can get away with it this time because the rest of what he says is very distracting. He sighs deeply as he puts some oil in a wok he's heating up.]

How about never? Is that an option? Because I think I'd like that one.
[He knew this was going to happen he was just hoping it wouldn't.]

[robopriest]

Haha. Sorry. That isn't an option. Look on the bright side! Just think of it as a confessional. I'm obligated to the utmost secrecy with these kinds of things.

[do u hate him yet]

[laid]

[He's getting there.]

And what're you gonna do if I refuse? Tell everyone else?
[Is this a blackmail situation? Because that is exactly what he was worried about.]

[robopriest]

Why would I...oh.

[He just barks out a laugh.]

Do you really think I'm the blackmailing type? Come on, Raven. I just want to know the man underneath all the...whatever you call whatever you're doing.

[Being a pervert? Probably. Hansa leans against the counter, smirking.]

....Hm. If you tell me, I might show a little of what Chiron got to see.

[laid]

[He tenses up slightly at the implication that his persona here is something he's "doing," an act. But no, surely it's not that transparent. He breathes deep and settles himself before adding the vegetables to the wok.]

When you say stuff like that it sounds like yer coming onto me.
[Which... he truly hopes isn't the case. Anyway.]

... It's my heart. Or something taking the place of it, anyway.

[robopriest]

...Big words coming from someone ogling a woman's breasts, there.

[LIKE. SERIOUSLY.]

Hm. So it's keeping you alive? I guess not everyone where you come from has something like that.

[Because why be so cagey about it?]

[laid]

[A slightly sharp laugh as he tosses the vegetables, nonchalant, but in a harder sort of way.]

Yeah, until recently, I thought this was the only one in the world. It's not the sort of thing that ought to exist.

[robopriest]

...

[His weird gem thing that's his heart shouldn't be allowed to exist?]

So, what, are you keeping it against your will? You don't want it?

[laid]

What're you talkin' about? It's not like I can just rip my own heart outta my chest any easier than you can.

[Gently dodges the actual question as he adds sauce to the pan.]

[robopriest]

Yes, but your heart is something that "is the sort of thing that ought not to exist". I don't think I'd say that about something literally keeping me alive.

[laid]

Well, you can try wakin' up after dying and see how you feel about it then.
[Just drops the other shoe. And then, because he is not going to elaborate on that subject;]

So what's your big secret then?

[robopriest]

...?

[That...sounds like it has terrible implications.]

Hm. I guess I was right, though. There's a lot more going on with you than meets the eye. [He'll take his small little victory. Now about him...] Me? I'm just a regular priest...

[PLEASE SMACK THIS TROLL]

[laid]

Don't read into things too much. Blastia heart or no, I'm just old Raven, nothing special.
[Please do not continue to try and investigate whether Raven is or is not as unto a Transformer.]

You though... you're tellin' me you had to get checked over in private fer no reason?
[PLEASE....]

[robopriest]

Blastia? Is that the name of the gem?

[DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. Okay, maybe he'll reply....with an annoying remark, of course.]

Hmmmm. Maybe I'm just...shy?

[laid]

[NOPE HE'S NOT SAYING ANOTHER SINGLE WORD ABOUT IT. Just focusing most of his attention on this stir fry.]

I don't wanna hear that excuse from a guy who just badgered me into revealing a terrible secret.
[Not a single thing about you is shy.]

I answered yer questions and I'm feeding you. Hardly seems fair for you ta not uphold your promise.

[robopriest]

Terrible, huh... [And he heaves a long, heavy sigh.] But fine. A deal's a deal. I can't really make you understand by just rolling up my sleeve, unfortunately, so...

[He glances to the door, making sure no one's just. Happening to be standing there, and then just rolls up his shirt. He's not going to take it off all the way, but hey, Raven. Check it out.]

[His abdomen is completely made of interwoven, intricate panels of metal and some wiring.]

[laid]

[He didn't exactly have any guesses as to what it was going to be, but if he'd been pressed, it would never have been this. He can't help his eyes going wide a bit.]

Well, I gotta be honest, I ain't seen nothing like that before. Prosthetic limbs, sure, but..
[Squints!!!]

Don't tell me we're in the same boat after all.
[DID YOU DIE TOO, METAL MAN?]

[robopriest]

Well, I didn't die to get these, so no. Similar boats, maybe.

[He lowers his shirt, giving a lazy sort of shrug.]

Honestly, you have it a little better than I do. Yours doesn't make up seventy percent of your body.

[laid]

[You know he was about to argue that it's not better given all the baggage it comes with but then-]

Seventy percent!? What-
[Stops himself because he's not going to be rude enough to ask what terrible accident caused this.]

... You gonna be ok?
[Just.... in general? Buddy? Do you need motor oil? What's the protocol here.]

[robopriest]

Hm?

[He just gives Raven a quizzical look in return.]

I'm......already okay?