RAVEN CATCH-ALL

[robopriest]

Comments

[robopriest]

Who knows? Maybe I'm just a robotic cabaret singer by night.

[He quips, smirking in the middle of his meal.]

What else do you like to cook?

[laid]

I don't even wanna think about that.

[He's not into dudes!!! He can't stress this enough!!!!]

I can cook just about anything, but it's not really something I like doing.
[Which is wild because this is legitimately very good stir fry.]

[robopriest]

[A laugh.]

Really? Could've fooled me. This isn't exactly a half-hearted dish.

[laid]

That's cause ladies love a guy who can cook!

[This man is an idiot.]

[robopriest]

[Dryly:]

And yet you open your mouth and they run the other way. Makes you wonder.

[laid]

I'll have you know old Raven has plenty of fans! It's just that we don't have nearly enough mature ladies here.

[Yeah, that's the problem.]

[robopriest]

[Looks around.]

Woooow. So many fans here! You sure are Mr. Popular.

[laid]

I'd like to see you do better! A good chunk of the girls here are like, half my age. Yours too.

[Take that, fellow 30s year old.]

[robopriest]

[He laughs.]

You're telling a holy man to leer at the ladies like you do? For shame. I have a little something called dignity, you know.

[laid]

I don't leer. But if Dorothy's gonna just bare herself of her own free will surely it'd be rude ta look a gift horse in the mouth.

[He doesn't know your weird jesus rules, also.]

[robopriest]

The lady can do what she wants. It doesn't mean you need to ogle like they're pieces of meat on a spitroast.

[FOR SHAME, RAVEN!!!]

[laid]

Is this part of yer religion? Being all sanctimonious and smug at people?

[Well-]

[robopriest]

[A shrug.]

I just call it like it is, Raven. I don't even need to be a priest for that.

[laid]

Pretty ungrateful fer a guy that just got free food, if ya ask me.

[robopriest]

I said thanks, didn't I?

[And he just returns to his meal.]

Anyways, you're a smart, shrewd man who is far more than he says he is. So I appreciate the insight into the things you're hiding close to your chest, if we want to talk about grateful.

[laid]

Well don't go around telling people that. I don't go broadcasting it for a reason.

[Raven just flat out admitting he wants people to think he's just an annoying dumb pervert, in exchange for Hansa's frankness.]

[robopriest]

[Deadpan:]

I'm going to yell "Raven is not as much of an idiot as he seems" in front of everyone and you can't stop me.

[A beat.]

But no. I gain nothing out of doing something like that. Your little secret's safe with me.

[laid]

Obviously that's not what I meant, ya smartass.
[LIKE... DON'T GO GOSSIP WITH OTHERS... OBVIOUSLY.]

Ain't you religious types supposed ta be more...
[Less sarcastic and a general pain in the butt?]

[robopriest]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[:3c]

[laid]

Of course not.

[Honestly. Just gonna quiet down and eat his food he's done trying to make sense of this man.]