KANO CATCH-ALL I'M SAD

[robopriest]

I'M SO SAD

Comments

[robopriest]

...Are you old enough for that?

[this metaphor is getting out of hand]

[suddenlybees]

Like... legally, or practically?

[ Because, uh. 8-year-old Ori has definitely driven a car around a supermarket parking lot before. Don't tell. ]

[robopriest]

[ORI...]

Are you even tall enough to reach the pedals?

[suddenlybees]

You're lucky this barrier is here so I can't tear you limb from limb.

[robopriest]

Ha! I'd like to see you try.

[suddenlybees]

Meet me in the pit tomorrow and let's go.

[robopriest]

[He smirks.]

I'm not going to call your bluff, Kano. And I might do terrible things, in what I do...but killing innocents isn't one of them.

[suddenlybees]

You're saying that as if I'm innocent. Maybe I was in this instance, but how can you judge the rest of my existence?

[ angry teen voice: you don't know me!! ]

[robopriest]

[He shakes his head.]

I'm not judging anything. You might be a serial killer, for all I know. What do I care? For this act, for this moment, you're certified innocent. Are you going to tell me that isn't the case?

[suddenlybees]

So you let me walk free today only to continue a life of crime tomorrow. That's how the justice system works, huh?

[ That's just how it is, though. The only one to judge you as a whole, for deeds done throughout your life, is God himself, and Kano finds himself caring more about people's judgement than God's. ]

[robopriest]

Hahaha. Do you think I'm part of that kind of justice system, Kano? I merely act out the will of the Lord.

[Does he, though...?]

Besides, what sorts of crime do you even want to commit?

[suddenlybees]

[ Will of the Lord................. ]

Want to, or have to?

[robopriest]

Give me both.

[suddenlybees]

Petty theft and murder.

[robopriest]

What, that's it? Not even jaywalking?

[suddenlybees]

No way! I'm a traffic director, remember? Gotta abide by traffic laws.

[robopriest]

So thievery and murder are on the table, but you'll draw the line at running stoplights.

[suddenlybees]

Yes, exactly. We all have our limits.

[robopriest]

So, tell me. Who do you need to murder?

[suddenlybees]

Dad.

[robopriest]

...

Your high school teacher god serial killer father.

[suddenlybees]

Yeah, exactly! See what sorta predicament I'm in right now? I should probably, like, pass the mantle, but it's also something I feel like I gotta do myself?

[robopriest]

You could always do the teenage movie thing and become a rebel that runs away from home, thwarting the authorities and living your own free life.

[suddenlybees]

Been there, done that. Sorta. I took my siblings with me and we ran! Sorta. Dad pays our rent.

[ THEY RAN AWAY FROM HOME BUT DAD PAYS RENT............. I don't know what they were trying to accomplish, don't ask me ]

[robopriest]

...That's not really a rebel move if your dad is still paying for stuff for you. Just saying.