[ That's right. Siffrin stole their agency, their free will, and treated them like actors in a play, with himself as its crappy director. Stuck in time because they were too afraid to move on.
(You really are the worst, aren't you? At least everyone knows what the King is doing but you don't even give your family members the blessing of knowing about it. You took that chance away from them, too.
As long as they stuck to the script, it was fine. Even if it was torture for you, it was fine, so long as you could stay with them.
Horrible. Disgusting. They'll hate you if they find out.) ]
I know that.
[ But Siffrin did it anyway. And he's not sure if he wouldn't want to do it again, if faced with the situation. ]
I know that you know. You can move forward with that knowledge in yourself.
[That regret. That shame. That want to never hurt anyone like that ever again.]
That's the worst part, I think. Moving forward. But we have to.
[Life forces them forward. No looking back. Orpheus got the worst outcome of that, in that old myth. Hansa himself was the Chariot - he couldn't sit in the ruins of his old village and let the past grow over him like mold. Forward. Always forward.]
[ Do they have to? Do they, really???? And where would they go to? Forward can mean anywhere, but as far as Siffrin sees it, he's The Fool walking blindly off the cliff and into the abyss.
(You
envy Hansa's bravery. You wish you had his strength, you wish you had his confidence, you wish... you could rip those traits from him and wear it like a skin on top of your own.)
But they are themselves (whoever that is, haha!) and that means that they have to be afraid of even the idea of people moving on without them.
They pull back just slightly from the embrace, enough to look up at Hansa. His face hurts, his head hurts, it's cold, and their eye burns with tears that don't want to spill. They never do. ]
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Siffrin, Siffrin, Siffrin. Siffrin Nolastname, because their birth family is one of the many blanks in his brain.
And as for the other one… ]
Hansa. [ A dull, tired voice. One last attempt at showing Hansa just how disgusting they are. ] I think I’m the cause of the time loops.
no subject
[Somehow he
doesn't feel surprised at all.]
...Is it because you wanted to freeze everything to protect it? So you wouldn't lose anything. Or anyone.
[Like that king.]
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You and the King are no different. You two are from the same country, after all.
You're just as reproachable and disgusting as him.)
Siffrin nods. ]
I've had enough of losing things.
[ Even if it's a nightmare, it's one with the people they love. As long as they never wake up, they can stay with them forever.
Even if all it does is hurt him in the end. ]
no subject
I understand that. It's one of the most understandable human things in the world. But I have the feeling you know very well why it was wrong.
[He's just putting a hand over the back of their head, stroking through their hair.]
In the end, people aren't insects to keep pinned in a box.
no subject
(You really are the worst, aren't you? At least everyone knows what the King is doing but you don't even give your family members the blessing of knowing about it. You took that chance away from them, too.
As long as they stuck to the script, it was fine. Even if it was torture for you, it was fine, so long as you could stay with them.
Horrible. Disgusting. They'll hate you if they find out.) ]
I know that.
[ But Siffrin did it anyway. And he's not sure if he wouldn't want to do it again, if faced with the situation. ]
no subject
[That regret. That shame. That want to never hurt anyone like that ever again.]
That's the worst part, I think. Moving forward. But we have to.
[Life forces them forward. No looking back. Orpheus got the worst outcome of that, in that old myth. Hansa himself was the Chariot - he couldn't sit in the ruins of his old village and let the past grow over him like mold. Forward. Always forward.]
no subject
(You
envy Hansa's bravery. You wish you had his strength, you wish you had his confidence, you wish... you could rip those traits from him and wear it like a skin on top of your own.)
But they are themselves (whoever that is, haha!) and that means that they have to be afraid of even the idea of people moving on without them.
They pull back just slightly from the embrace, enough to look up at Hansa. His face hurts, his head hurts, it's cold, and their eye burns with tears that don't want to spill. They never do. ]
I don't want you to go either.