[ Even with their hands firmly on Hansa’s face, Siffrin can’t feel a thing. They wish they could, because right now they’re not even sure if the Hansa he’s holding in place right now is even real.
(It sure doesn’t act like him, haha!) ]
Stars— you lost an ear! An arm! You’re telling me you could have lost memories, too!? Hansa! Why!?
[He is trying to fight this feeling creeping over him, but its winning now - he isn't sure why. Maybe because of Siffrin being so worried, maybe because of his own worry...]
[His expression is struggling, but he's feeling more and more heaviness as the other speaks.]
Please don't. Listen to me, but... [And here it comes, almost slumping.] I'd rather suffer than let others suffer, it's...what I deserve.
[ If Siffrin has to hold Hansa up, then they will. Even if they can’t feel how Hansa feels in his hands, they have to pray to the Universe that it does something for the other. ]
That’s not true. That’s not true, Hansa! [ They draw in a shaky breath, gritting their teeth. ] You’re important to so many people! Do you think they’d want to see you suffer?!
[Just like he wouldn't want to see Siffrin suffer. How ironic. He's been put in the same position as them. Almost laughable.]
[It's that thought that somehow sobers him, the feeling of abandonment chased away like shadows to the corner.]
No, no. You're right. [And he's pinching his nose, straightening himself.] Hoo. I'm so sorry. I really...I really don't mean that. It's a young woman's...she was abandoned, you see. So her feelings are echoing through me.
[ Siffrin looks up at Hansa, realizing that no, they didn't know that the other would be nervous about him getting hurt. Without realizing, they lift their hand to touch their eyepatch. They feel nothing from it, and the lack of memory gnaws at them like a gaping void.
Seeing Hansa this upset feels wrong. If only they had been there, they would have tried to tear whoever this wish giver was to shreds. It's the only fate it deserves. ]
At first, nothing really. This was after a long terrible adventure of sorts. She simply offered to grant our wishes with no payment.
[Which was sort of surprising in and of itself, but...]
Then she turned into a monster. She said many people wished for a monster to face. And that someone long ago wished for her to eat souls. So she gained a taste for them.
It was like. Nothing we could do could stand up to her. She simply leaned forward with all those hands and took parts of us and...erased them. She was like a child. She wasn't even trying.
want to kill her kill her kill her kill her and rip her guts open to take back everything that she stole from you and from everyone here because this is the only way that you'll be able to go home) ]
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[He's wincing just from the referred pain of the missing ear, gaze fixed on Siffrin's face as he says, a little hoarse.]
...We had to take or lose things to get through doors, Siffrin. It seemed preferable to losing something like a memory or a body part at the time.
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(It sure doesn’t act like him, haha!) ]
Stars— you lost an ear! An arm! You’re telling me you could have lost memories, too!? Hansa! Why!?
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[His expression is struggling, but he's feeling more and more heaviness as the other speaks.]
Please don't. Listen to me, but... [And here it comes, almost slumping.] I'd rather suffer than let others suffer, it's...what I deserve.
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That’s not true. That’s not true, Hansa! [ They draw in a shaky breath, gritting their teeth. ] You’re important to so many people! Do you think they’d want to see you suffer?!
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[No. No, they wouldn't.]
[Just like he wouldn't want to see Siffrin suffer. How ironic. He's been put in the same position as them. Almost laughable.]
[It's that thought that somehow sobers him, the feeling of abandonment chased away like shadows to the corner.]
No, no. You're right. [And he's pinching his nose, straightening himself.] Hoo. I'm so sorry. I really...I really don't mean that. It's a young woman's...she was abandoned, you see. So her feelings are echoing through me.
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[ They frown, pulling away to instead grip their own arm from under their cloak. ]
Are the others like this?
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[...A snort, but its a little more wry than properly amused.]
Childermass has the king...or queen, maybe? Of England in his head. A whole other person.
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[ They chuckle, but their voice cracks under it.
Gloved fingers dig into their own arm, and they have to take a deep breath to calm themselves. ]
Do you want company?
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[.....]
[That final fight, where they faced that insurmountable creature, with almost certain death looming, fear in the air-]
[He nods.]
I really do. I'd really appreciate it, Siffrin.
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[ Despite everything, Siffrin does their best to give Hansa a reassuring smile.
(He doesn’t need to know how nervous you are.)
On whatever pew that isn’t broken, Siffrin sits down, leaving enough space for Hansa to sit down next to him. ]
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[He sits down on Siffrin's left, before knocking his shoulder gently against his.]
I was worried about you earlier. You ran off so quickly. I imagine seeing all of us was...quite a shock.
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Yeah.
[ It goes far deeper than that, but he doesn’t want to bother Hansa when he’s so sensitive. ]
It was scary. I don’t like seeing you hurt.
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[It's not every day someone walks up with a whole chunk out of them.]
I'm just glad we're all okay. It was...awful. That wish giver is something else.
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Seeing Hansa this upset feels wrong. If only they had been there, they would have tried to tear whoever this wish giver was to shreds. It's the only fate it deserves. ]
What did it make you guys do?
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[Which was sort of surprising in and of itself, but...]
Then she turned into a monster. She said many people wished for a monster to face. And that someone long ago wished for her to eat souls. So she gained a taste for them.
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(You wonder if she has eyes, and imagine yourself driving your knife right between them. Then inside each socket, until she screams for mercy.) ]
And so she tried to eat you guys?
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[And it was like...
nothing he ever experienced before.]
It was like. Nothing we could do could stand up to her. She simply leaned forward with all those hands and took parts of us and...erased them. She was like a child. She wasn't even trying.
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Siffrin feels like it's hard to breathe, but this isn't about them. It's about Hansa. ]
And then... what happened?
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[...]
Just like that. She listened, and stopped. But she confirmed that she...has been eating everyone. The dead are in her stomach.
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actually,
you don't think at all.
you simply
want to kill her kill her kill her kill her and rip her guts open to take back everything that she stole from you and from everyone here because this is the only way that you'll be able to go home) ]
Can we reach her? Again?
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[A little bit of a stern look.]
I wouldn't rush into it. We have to take our time. We can outsmart her. She's too powerful as she is now.
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[ They grit their teeth, balling up their hands into fists out of frustration. It’s been so long since the first in their group died.
(You wonder… what their name was.)]
Maybe if we all go together we might have a chance or something!
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[And he can't take that chance. He can't.]
I won't...want us to lose anyone.