I wouldn't say forcing. It's like...well, if someone told you they could call on you any time to step up and do something you have the capability to do.
All in all, I serve the Church, and I serve God. I help to carry out His will, and moreoever, I get to make sure evildoers don't get what they deserve.
[ the mention of that brings forward the thought of the Change God, and Siffrin's expression darkens at the simple thought of that thing.
what's the point of following something that only sees you as their plaything? even if it allegedly cared for Mira, the Change God did barely anything. it could have probably solved this entire issue, and yet it does nothing but watch from above. ]
He must be really good if it makes you want to put your life in danger for him.
[He says it as sure as he would say the sky is blue, or water is wet. God is good. No matter his own carefree nature, that is an immutable fact for him.]
Sometimes there are things you would lay your life down for. Things that are bigger than you. It could be God, or a person, or a concept. It's not wrong to have something like that.
the thought comes to their mind without hesitation, and that alone makes them sick. before, Siffrin thought that they could power through the loops by keeping the end goal in mind. that, eventually, they would break out and make it back to their family members. the real ones, not those lousy actors with their faces.
Then you find something else to hold onto. No one ever said you couldn't change what gives you meaning, you know. Besides. It could be as simple as a star in the sky or a silly picture you saw once.
[Sometimes, its as simple as an old man telling him about goblins, in the faraway mountains.]
No language. No country. Not even a name. Not even the blinding stars will guide you anywhere anymore. The vague memory of the drawing of you and your family members brings you nothing but pain.
You're nothing. No one at all. The only thing you are is the plaything of the Universe.)
Siffrin smiles. ]
I'll figure something out. Sorry for worrying you. I'll try to sleep more.
[ Siffrin ducks into their cloak, wishing that it could swallow them whole. even though Hansa has told him not to feel bad about it, the guilt only seems to gnaw at him further. ]
You don’t have to force yourself to do something like that.
[ (He’ll take it back once he sees how horrible you are, and you know it. It’s best to push him away quickly.)
the idea of a confession is something that mostly flies over Siffrin’s guess, but even they can figure it out. if only Hansa knew even half of the things that Siffrin has done… yes, then he would definitely run away.
Ah. Ouch. Oof. Here I am. Forced! Leashed, even. How will I escape this fate...
[His tone is as dry as the Sahara desert.]
Seriously, though. I wouldn't offer if I wasn't up for it. And of you aren't, I won't force you, either. It's simply an open door. You take it, or you don't. It'll stay open regardless.
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[ considering this guy's personality, it sounds unlikely. ]
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[Voluntold, basically.]
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It's worth it for me.
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[ the mention of that brings forward the thought of the Change God, and Siffrin's expression darkens at the simple thought of that thing.
what's the point of following something that only sees you as their plaything? even if it allegedly cared for Mira, the Change God did barely anything. it could have probably solved this entire issue, and yet it does nothing but watch from above. ]
He must be really good if it makes you want to put your life in danger for him.
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[He says it as sure as he would say the sky is blue, or water is wet. God is good. No matter his own carefree nature, that is an immutable fact for him.]
Sometimes there are things you would lay your life down for. Things that are bigger than you. It could be God, or a person, or a concept. It's not wrong to have something like that.
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the thought comes to their mind without hesitation, and that alone makes them sick. before, Siffrin thought that they could power through the loops by keeping the end goal in mind. that, eventually, they would break out and make it back to their family members. the real ones, not those lousy actors with their faces.
but that....
(JUST ISN'T WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE!) ]
What if it's not enough?
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[Sometimes, its as simple as an old man telling him about goblins, in the faraway mountains.]
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(But you
DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE.
No language. No country. Not even a name. Not even the blinding stars will guide you anywhere anymore. The vague memory of the drawing of you and your family members brings you nothing but pain.
You're nothing. No one at all. The only thing you are is the plaything of the Universe.)
Siffrin smiles. ]
I'll figure something out. Sorry for worrying you. I'll try to sleep more.
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[A little tilt of the head.]
I'm always here to hear out your confessions. I might not give the best advice, if Father Delmio has to say anything about it, but. I'll be here.
[And he winks.]
[It looks like a blink.]
I can be an anchor, too.
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You don’t have to force yourself to do something like that.
[ (He’ll take it back once he sees how horrible you are, and you know it. It’s best to push him away quickly.)
the idea of a confession is something that mostly flies over Siffrin’s guess, but even they can figure it out. if only Hansa knew even half of the things that Siffrin has done… yes, then he would definitely run away.
as he should, really. ]
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[His tone is as dry as the Sahara desert.]
Seriously, though. I wouldn't offer if I wasn't up for it. And of you aren't, I won't force you, either. It's simply an open door. You take it, or you don't. It'll stay open regardless.
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Siffrin feels undeserving of it, but it seems like this guy won't be pushed away too easily.
(He'll understand soon enough, if you're forced to stay here for long enough.)
they nod. ]
I'll...uh... try.