RUFUS CATCH-ALL

[robopriest]

Comments

day 0, early afternoon

[robopriest]

Hey!

[He's here at the emporium - and here's the man he wanted to see. Hansa grins, holding up something in his hand.]

I have something for you. As payment.

[He just?? Tosses the condom from the bag at Rufus???? PAYMENT?????]

[soulus]

[He catches the condom and looks down at it, then up at Hansa.]

I'm not interested.

1/2

[robopriest]

Eh?

[Was his gift that bad? Wait...]

2/2

[robopriest]

[And then his face twists, and he just lets out a loud laugh. Oh my god.]

Goodness, no! No, I'm not asking for that! [WHEEZES] I'm just giving you the thing. I don't need it, myself.

[soulus]

[Why is he laughing?]

If you don't need it . . . I suppose I can keep it.

[robopriest]

Sure, sure. Use it however you want. I don't care.

[Go forth and...do whatever you do with a condom, Rufus.]

Anyways, it is payment, so I want something in return.

[soulus]

[He wordlessly pockets the condom.]

What is your request?

[robopriest]

I want to know...what do you like to eat?

[Is that it?]

[soulus]

Low-priced food.

[robopriest]

...

Like, burgers?

[soulus]

If it's inexpensive, I will eat it.

[robopriest]

[wow..................the man demanding payment is a ramen and fast food lover....who would've thought]

Huh. Alright. [A beat.] How are you holding up? Got any more payments from people? Keeping yourself afloat?

[soulus]

[Who'da thunk it?

His eyes narrow.]

How I'm doing is no one's business. If you're that curious, it will count as a request.

[robopriest]

Really?

[A KIND OF??? VAGUELY PITYING LOOK]

You sound like someone who has no friends.

[soulus]

Is there a monetary benefit to having friends?

[robopriest]

Yes, actually. You're missing out.

[soulus]

I'm afraid I have to disagree.

[robopriest]

You don't have friends, how would you know?

[soulus]

It's more profitable to spend time working than socializing.

[robopriest]

Yes, but in friendship, you can get free stuff for minimal effort. Doesn't that sound appealing?

[soulus]

No. That doesn't sound appealing at all.

[robopriest]

Oh? And here you are demanding payment. In friendship, you can get all sorts of payment. Are you going back on your values, Rufus?

[soulus]

This and that are different.

Payment is for services rendered. I can adjust my rates as needed and accept contracts accordingly. I have no interest in payments from unreliable sources.

[robopriest]

So, what makes a source reliable instead of unreliable, then? Consistency?

[soulus]

It's simple. Professional and private lives should be kept separate.