[ he does! it's a slower pace than usual, but, xie lian joins him at the table, easing down to sit. ]
...It was quite strange. I was just walking in one place, and then, I took a step, and was suddenly in another place entirely, with the others. We were separated almost immediately; Won and I were together, and we went to a room with two strange chairs, as if it were waiting for us. We sat, and the... I suppose the screen? Told us that were were going to have to fight monsters, so the both of us said "yes", we would.
Only... [ his brow furrows a little. ] ...Well, we didn't do much monster fighting, at least not physically. [ despite. everything. gestures. ]
[ at that, xie lian glances at his cup. the corner of his mouth lifts, as if he's finding something, privately, a little ironic - or more so, that all he can really do is feel a twinge of hopeless amusement at how right that hansa is. ]
That's not where the injuries came from - at least, not mine, or Won's. For us, it was as if we were in nightmares; experiences based off of our real lives, though twisted.
[ he's moving on quickly past the emotional part of it, though, not willing to dwell. ] ...What we experienced was tied quite directly to what Miss Ochako and Archer were doing.
They were the ones engaged in combat - and the monsters they fought were somehow connected to us. Supposedly, when things were happening in our experience, the monsters fought would react accordingly... Miss Ochako and Archer were successful in defeating them. They must have fought quite valiantly - from the extent of their original injuries, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been.
Oh. So you were essentially...you were the ones behind their fights. That's horrible.
[He frowns. Turning people against each other, or at the very least, using them as tools to hurt others is something that he doesn't like thinking about.]
I'm not sure. I wasn't aware it was happening - I only found out after the fact. But... these injuries - [ a pause, as he reaches to touch his chest, gingerly. ] -- they weren't from that, either.
According to Miss Ochako and Archer, when they defeated the monsters, they entered the same room that we were in, we had all the same injuries that monsters did -- that is to say, we were dead.
Well, death is a bit complicated for me... but we were quite dead.
Miss Ochako informed us that they had something they could inject us with to revive us, with drastic side effects. They acted, to do so and the "monster's" injuries were healed.
However, when I awoke again... [ and here, now, something flickers across his face. he's told the story calmly up to this point, with few reactions, but as he remembers, xie lian feels the frustration well up in his chest, and he looks down into his cup, gripping it tighter. ]
...I wasn't myself. It was as if I were possessed.
[He watches Xie Lian's reaction, and his own grip tightens on his mug, not out of frustration, but a deep uptick of anger. It reminds him too much of what he's seen from certain creatures who use others as puppets, as extensions of themselves to destroy others.]
...
[He stares down at his tea, deeply frowning.]
And let me guess. You were made to fight Ochako and Archer.
[ his answer comes quickly, this time. hansa's anger is matched by xie lian's, a quiet, deep frustration and fury. not at the monsters, really, and not at him, but -- at himself, that he wasn't strong enough to stop it. ] I don't believe we would all have been allowed to leave the area - only the two who were not incapacitated.
...Hansa, I am very, very strong. This place has limited my strength, somewhat, but I have trained in combat as long as I have been alive. [ he squeezes his cup, white knuckles, now. ] That -- against a teenage girl.
[One of his hands moves from his own cup to rest on top of one of the other's. His hand feels very solid, but its weight is gentle. The cold anger in his eye is anything but that, though.]
It isn't your fault, Xie Lian. Whatever you did there...wasn't because you wanted to.
I should have been able to overcome it. [ your heart will be your only defense, the machine had said. before he slipped into his nightmares, before he'd awoken like that.
he shakes his head, and that anger doesn't disappear, though it fades slightly when hansa reaches out to touch his hand; xie lian looks up at him. ] They shouldn't have even had to be put through that in the first place.
[ his anger is directed the most at whatever made that happen; whatever had them simply walking into such a dangerous place. whatever pitted them against each other. ]
... I was able to regain my consciousness in the middle of the fight, for a brief moment. I told Ruoye to help Miss Ochako, and I asked Archer to kill me.
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[ xie lian says this quietly, but, he moves with no protest, stepping out of hansa's way to let him get the cups with a quiet-- ] ...thank you.
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[He'll bring them both to the table, expecting Xie Lian to follow.]
Now, out with it. What did you go through?
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...It was quite strange. I was just walking in one place, and then, I took a step, and was suddenly in another place entirely, with the others. We were separated almost immediately; Won and I were together, and we went to a room with two strange chairs, as if it were waiting for us. We sat, and the... I suppose the screen? Told us that were were going to have to fight monsters, so the both of us said "yes", we would.
Only... [ his brow furrows a little. ] ...Well, we didn't do much monster fighting, at least not physically. [ despite. everything. gestures. ]
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Must have been a lot of emotional turmoil those monsters put you through if you got injured like this, hm.
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That's not where the injuries came from - at least, not mine, or Won's. For us, it was as if we were in nightmares; experiences based off of our real lives, though twisted.
[ he's moving on quickly past the emotional part of it, though, not willing to dwell. ] ...What we experienced was tied quite directly to what Miss Ochako and Archer were doing.
They were the ones engaged in combat - and the monsters they fought were somehow connected to us. Supposedly, when things were happening in our experience, the monsters fought would react accordingly... Miss Ochako and Archer were successful in defeating them. They must have fought quite valiantly - from the extent of their original injuries, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been.
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[He frowns. Turning people against each other, or at the very least, using them as tools to hurt others is something that he doesn't like thinking about.]
Do you know what they fought?
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I'm not sure. I wasn't aware it was happening - I only found out after the fact. But... these injuries - [ a pause, as he reaches to touch his chest, gingerly. ] -- they weren't from that, either.
According to Miss Ochako and Archer, when they defeated the monsters, they entered the same room that we were in, we had all the same injuries that monsters did -- that is to say, we were dead.
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[Implying the monsters were those people! For shame!]
But wait, was it a copy of you two that died? Or did you two actually die?
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Miss Ochako informed us that they had something they could inject us with to revive us, with drastic side effects. They acted, to do so and the "monster's" injuries were healed.
However, when I awoke again... [ and here, now, something flickers across his face. he's told the story calmly up to this point, with few reactions, but as he remembers, xie lian feels the frustration well up in his chest, and he looks down into his cup, gripping it tighter. ]
...I wasn't myself. It was as if I were possessed.
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...
[He stares down at his tea, deeply frowning.]
And let me guess. You were made to fight Ochako and Archer.
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[ his answer comes quickly, this time. hansa's anger is matched by xie lian's, a quiet, deep frustration and fury. not at the monsters, really, and not at him, but -- at himself, that he wasn't strong enough to stop it. ] I don't believe we would all have been allowed to leave the area - only the two who were not incapacitated.
...Hansa, I am very, very strong. This place has limited my strength, somewhat, but I have trained in combat as long as I have been alive. [ he squeezes his cup, white knuckles, now. ] That -- against a teenage girl.
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[One of his hands moves from his own cup to rest on top of one of the other's. His hand feels very solid, but its weight is gentle. The cold anger in his eye is anything but that, though.]
It isn't your fault, Xie Lian. Whatever you did there...wasn't because you wanted to.
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he shakes his head, and that anger doesn't disappear, though it fades slightly when hansa reaches out to touch his hand; xie lian looks up at him. ] They shouldn't have even had to be put through that in the first place.
[ his anger is directed the most at whatever made that happen; whatever had them simply walking into such a dangerous place. whatever pitted them against each other. ]
... I was able to regain my consciousness in the middle of the fight, for a brief moment. I told Ruoye to help Miss Ochako, and I asked Archer to kill me.
[ ... ] I knew I wouldn't stop, otherwise.