[He watches Xie Lian's reaction, and his own grip tightens on his mug, not out of frustration, but a deep uptick of anger. It reminds him too much of what he's seen from certain creatures who use others as puppets, as extensions of themselves to destroy others.]
...
[He stares down at his tea, deeply frowning.]
And let me guess. You were made to fight Ochako and Archer.
[ his answer comes quickly, this time. hansa's anger is matched by xie lian's, a quiet, deep frustration and fury. not at the monsters, really, and not at him, but -- at himself, that he wasn't strong enough to stop it. ] I don't believe we would all have been allowed to leave the area - only the two who were not incapacitated.
...Hansa, I am very, very strong. This place has limited my strength, somewhat, but I have trained in combat as long as I have been alive. [ he squeezes his cup, white knuckles, now. ] That -- against a teenage girl.
[One of his hands moves from his own cup to rest on top of one of the other's. His hand feels very solid, but its weight is gentle. The cold anger in his eye is anything but that, though.]
It isn't your fault, Xie Lian. Whatever you did there...wasn't because you wanted to.
I should have been able to overcome it. [ your heart will be your only defense, the machine had said. before he slipped into his nightmares, before he'd awoken like that.
he shakes his head, and that anger doesn't disappear, though it fades slightly when hansa reaches out to touch his hand; xie lian looks up at him. ] They shouldn't have even had to be put through that in the first place.
[ his anger is directed the most at whatever made that happen; whatever had them simply walking into such a dangerous place. whatever pitted them against each other. ]
... I was able to regain my consciousness in the middle of the fight, for a brief moment. I told Ruoye to help Miss Ochako, and I asked Archer to kill me.
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...
[He stares down at his tea, deeply frowning.]
And let me guess. You were made to fight Ochako and Archer.
no subject
[ his answer comes quickly, this time. hansa's anger is matched by xie lian's, a quiet, deep frustration and fury. not at the monsters, really, and not at him, but -- at himself, that he wasn't strong enough to stop it. ] I don't believe we would all have been allowed to leave the area - only the two who were not incapacitated.
...Hansa, I am very, very strong. This place has limited my strength, somewhat, but I have trained in combat as long as I have been alive. [ he squeezes his cup, white knuckles, now. ] That -- against a teenage girl.
no subject
[One of his hands moves from his own cup to rest on top of one of the other's. His hand feels very solid, but its weight is gentle. The cold anger in his eye is anything but that, though.]
It isn't your fault, Xie Lian. Whatever you did there...wasn't because you wanted to.
no subject
he shakes his head, and that anger doesn't disappear, though it fades slightly when hansa reaches out to touch his hand; xie lian looks up at him. ] They shouldn't have even had to be put through that in the first place.
[ his anger is directed the most at whatever made that happen; whatever had them simply walking into such a dangerous place. whatever pitted them against each other. ]
... I was able to regain my consciousness in the middle of the fight, for a brief moment. I told Ruoye to help Miss Ochako, and I asked Archer to kill me.
[ ... ] I knew I wouldn't stop, otherwise.